struggles... that's just the way it is.

I've pretty been vocal about my stand in terms of my beliefs. I'm not the biggest fan of Catholicism that's why I get into some arguments with my parents. They're the type of parents who never miss a Sunday, have an hour of prayer morning and night, and serve in mass. So in other words, they love Catholicism very much.

With this situation comes that struggle within me. My personal beliefs are very different from beliefs that I have to pretend to believe in the house. Gaaah. I'm like one of those Asians who migrated to America when they were young. They do not know whether they're American or Asian. It results in an identity crisis. It's like I'm not sure I belong anywhere. And for the past few months, I haven't really thought about my faith. Dude, I thought about it like .5 out of 100 times in the past few months. So there definitely was a problem.

Yesterday, I went to this worship thingee for a group of Christian youths. And when I got into the hall, I felt like I'm not supposed to be there because I was an outsider. I couldn't really do the things they were doing because (well I didn't know what they were singing) it was my first time to attend such an event.

Then I was really trying to lay low. I mean, I wanted to not stand out being Catholic and all that. But lo and behold, they asked who the firt timers were and guess who they found as their first 'victim?' It wasn't me. Naaah... just kidding. It was me. Hahaha. Wala lang, I felt so shy for the first time and they even had to point the video cam towards me (so my face was being shown on these big-ass projection screens). Gaaah.

So what's my point? Don't go to such events. Kidding again. Haha. I just want to say that I learned something (that I learned before but seemed to forget). And I'll always try to remember that. It's all about the faith and the relationship. I know that it would never be smooth sailing but I just have to try. And I'm gonna freakin' try hard.