Sunday, November 19, 2006

stuck... and i can't get out of it

Come on now! Are you freaking serious?! That's all I want to say to myself.

I have just finished reading a friend's blog and I'm just really frustrated. Here's the deal. I'm in Bio. That means that I have two options. Either be a medicine student or biology teacher. But since I don't think being a biology teacher is really my calling, that's out of the window. So now, I'm stuck with being a doctor and that's ten years from now.

Three years ago, I had no idea on what I wanted to be. I could have taken the easy road and just shifted to ME and be a manager of some company then start my own business. Heck, I can crunch those numbers well anyway. But I didn't. I stuck to bio and now, shifting is out of the question. But the thing is, I realized I wanted to be a person in entertainment (art, music, theatre or what have you). But it's too late for that.

When you have finally found that one thing that you know YOU SHOULD do, the circumstances suddenly don't seem to be on your side. I'm hating it whenever I have to study freaking circles under the microscope and name them. I enjoy it when I perform and sing and learn. That for me is the most important thing... I learn. And the reason for that is my openness to learning the craft.

I used to say that I wanted to be a doctor because I wanted to take care of my family and friends. But I think I've changed. I'm starting to become materialistic. I have to flush this out of my system.

Anyway, I'm just hoping that it's true that God has a plan for us because I really want to be assured that I am going to have an okay life in the future. So that's it. Good luck to me.

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