that dream

I have been so pessimistic about my life that I always believed that bad things would happen if they're given an opportunity to happen. Well, I could say I was optimistic about school but when I got home, it felt like my energy has been sucked out and entropy would just happen. It was so dark and I did not care.

But after having that dream I realized that I really felt this certain way. I've always said that I'm okay with my parents being seperated since they seem like it. Then, I had a dream where in that really happened. All I can remember is that I felt so bad that I cried and got this umbrella to go out and soak myself in the rain. But of course I did not use the umbrella. I woke up feeling so bad and realizing I wanted to change. I wanted to hang out with my parents and just have fun with them. This is the perfect season.

I want to change. Optimistic Jay here we come. Things will get better... woohoo!