When everything you are doing seems to go against the beliefs that you want to follow, you come to a realization that your beliefs might not really be for you. It is highly probable that you are denying yourself the opportunity to be the real you. You struggle to change yourself just to fit into those beliefs. For a certain amount of time you are able to succeed by fitting into it. But after some time, the old circumstances start to creep in. You suddenly go back to your old actions. And then, you realize it was occuring too many times for it to be considered a coincidence.
A friend told me that maybe it is happening for us to see how far we've crossed and to let us discover what we are supposed to do about it.
I know I have crossed the line yesternight. I did something that I have never done since three years ago. Now, what am I supposed to do with it? Will I continue because this is what I believe I am? Will I stop just to fit into those beliefs?
I started this entry knowing the answer to that. But I don't want to regret my decision by writing it and making it pseudo-permanent ('coz I can delete it anytime).
I am struggling...