it's not about strength. it's not about the impact.
it's about the passion. it's about the will.
i think i know what's bothering me (at least a part of it)
when i do things i am passionate about, it shows.
when i do things i am not passionate about, it shows.
i thought about it yesterday and i realized something.
the things i did in high school were things that did not require the participation of other people. it was all about doing my task and doing it well.
if i train in tennis well, i will play tennis well.
if i write my articles well, i will have good articles.
if i attended fair and yearbook committee meeting regularly, i would do well.
i now realize why i don't like leading other people (the only exception would be theatre where everyone was intense). i easily get disheartened by the lack of passion. when i see people taking things for granted, i lose the drive to push through with something. it's like you give your all hoping the others will be influenced by your passion, but you just die every time you see that it is not working.
with all the things i have been doing, i slowly try to see whether certain things are worth pushing for. it's one of the things bothering me. maybe i am not meant to influence fish to walk on land.
and they said the world is full of possibilities. let my imagination remain intact.